My life…………..

The day i was born i have see only pleasures in my life,sorrows never touched my shadow because i had such  wonderful and caring parents and such a caring family who supported me in every problem,they helped me in sorting out my problems and i was so proud that i have such a great family  and i thought i am the luckiest girl of the world.My parents gave me everything that i wished for ,i wished for silver and they brought diamond and gold for me,i was on the seventh sky.I didn’t know what is life and what does it mean?I was very happy with my family members and i never felt the need of any other person in my life,i was blessed by god and i am blessed!
I got everything in this world,everything.I am so thankful to god that he bestowed me with such a beautiful life,a lovely,caring,honorable father.My father is the best father,i know everyone says like this but i am saying it from the core of my heart,i love him very much,for me he is my super hero,he fulfills my every wish,if he has not money or he can’t afford but he brings that thing for me but not by unfair means and that is what i like about him.If he has no money and he cannot buy that thing so he says nothing he just buys that thing and till now i never felt that in my life any necessity is missing .
As i was growing and by my increasing age a black day came in our lives and our financial problems increased highly as my father’s aunt was suffering from paralysis so the  responsibility of her treatment was all on my father’s shoulders for that reason i couldn’t say each and everything to my father.The whole family was very worried and my father was so tensed  about her,we did our best and she recovered a bit but she herself was also worried for her health,whenever she remembered about her past and this situation so she cried a lot.
On Eid days,she was the first person in our house that i went for ,she hugged me and gave me blessings but on the first eid of her paralysis i was so afraid to go near her,she was weeping already as all family members were  with her ,so after a long moment i went,i sat near her and i hugged her and i couldn’t tolerate it so i wept too,but i tolerated as it was harmful for health,before the eid as we say it(chand raath) we went for shopping,i brought a ring for her form there and gave it to her to wear it herself,she took it but i was so emotional at that time i came out from that room and went to my room,i cursed myself for all this ,i felt as if i am the unfortunate girl ,i was so upset ,due to the financial problems my father was worried and i couldn’t see my father so tensed so i decided to do something to decrease his worries .The solution was that i thought,i am keen in writing so why not to do something so i found blogging and opened a blog at at the name of which is now in front of you all!
I wrote whatever i was interested in,and i thought to publish them in a magazine and before it i thought to publish my own magazine to earn money but there i was stopped that how to publish them and how to take the money,and if i published it so what will i say to my father while giving money to him,I was trapped completely.
My mind was stopped at that time so i called my aunt who is like my best friend,i told her each and everything,so she said that what you have thought is a good thing but have you thought it can hurt your father’s emotions???
I was shocked and i slapped my self that how could i ??How??
After i skipped this plan and kept it for my future and i decided to publish my magazine  when i will clear my 10th exams and i kept writing in the blog for my own interest.
The days were passing and the pages of calendars were reminding me that when these situations will turn and when we will be happy again.
The whole family was in a tensed moment,for me she was my friend who solved my problems,whenever i had a problem and i had no one to share so i went to her and told her that i have a problem and she sorted it out but now when a problem comes so i don’t know what to do and i can’t go near her because i fear that if she said something and i didn’t  understand so waht will i do?because her left side was completely effected by paralysis and she didn’t talk.I was really grieved that what to do.I thought many times but what ever i thought that was impossible without informing my dad.I cursed my self very much for such a destiny.and this sentence made me cry many times tha”sab kutch hotey hue b mey kutch nai kar sakti”.
I was so worried and i decided to quiet my education after 10th because the demands of educational institutions were increasing day by day .I felt as if life is finished for me and the doors of a happy life are closed now.I felt darkness everywhere.I was lost in such a crowd where everyone was selfish for their own wishes  and desires.Whenever i found one or two good persons  so they deceived me and all this was due to my simplicity>On every fiction of my life i got thorns while i gave flowers to all!
My best teachers who were almost like my brothers.Once my best teacher Sir Malik Mohammad said me that”You expect everyone to be good with you but unfortunately all are not the same,expectations do hurt”! and i really agree with him.For me my two best teachers were my true brothers .In those days i found them so true and so frank who neither deceived me nor hurt my emotions and i really solute their care!
This relationship was not acceptable for the people but our hearts were pour even my own mother often said me that”Yasmeen!You will face problems due to it” but i didn’t listen because i knew they will never let such situations to pass on my life.I told my each thing to them and they warned me when i was doing something unsure and sometimes they gave me options where my mind stopped working.Beside them i had a very naughty friend who never let me weep alone and never let me smile alone too.Whenever i was upset i missed him and i smiled 🙂 . i felt his absence and his presence made me feel like a princess and he was my best friend,for the people of here who will read it,i want to clear it that”Yes,it was a HE not a she”and it was a true friendship not LOVE,and he was elder from me many ages but we were always funny and best friends 😉
Sometimes i thought what will world say about me????that i have two brothers not of blood-relationship,a friend not from family but a stranger,but as usual i didn’t care because i trusted him very much and our friendship was so true that no one had the power to break it,many times my own class mates tried to bring misunderstandings between us but they failed!I am happy to have such a wonderful friend,he is my teddy .
ImageHis smile,his friendship was so cute that made me proud that i am his friend.My fellows deceived me many times  and i was deceived because of my one weakness and that was”I trusted everyone”whoever showed sympathy to me i spoiled my secrets and so they planned my destruction but i pity that they failed!
ImageOne day i was sitting in my home in a cloudy weather suddenly i saw a cal on my phone,i received it and it was of my childhood friend ,i greeted her but she was so angry i asked the reason so she said some useless words,after she told everything i asked her one question that”Who told you all this?so she refused to tell but i knew who she was because one of my fellow who used to be her friend when she was studying in our class too,so she went to Turbat(a city of Baluchistan) ,i said to her that tell me otherwise it won’t be good,finally she told me her name,and that moment was not less that an earth quake,I was shocked that how she could say all this?My earphones were on my hears and i was weeping a lot meanwhile my mom entered to my room and took the phone ,she advised my friend that”the fault is of her who has planned to finish your friendship and You are doubting on Yasmeen”i told my mom to cut the call.Since then i stared hating the disloyal”LIFE”,i hated ceremonies,friends,people,even i hated to smile.
I was disgruntled very much .I thought life is for those who know how to deceive not for those who give love to others.Slowly that day cam when i became  a full extrovert .I left all the things but my hope was never left.I never let my hope level to go lower.Because when i left the life there was only one thing who encouraged me and gave me a new life and that was”HOPE”. Every morning when i woke up so my hope got a new shine and i took that shine as my energy .
My heart says that life is not the name of money,wealth and living but it is the name of friendship,love,emotions,care,trust,hope and belief..But here people were so selfish who didn’t care whether someone lives or dies!
When i was suffering from such situations so i found many scholarships but  none of them worked for me because everything was done here on the basis of ragging.I needed scolarships because i wanted to leave Panjgur.
I wept in loneliness and i graved my sorrows in my heart,i smiled apparently but i was dead in fact!
My life was a white paper but unfortunately pens and erasers were with others,i had the power to face and weep only!
I got many disloyal people,some deceived me and some are still with me and i am waiting for their turn that when they will deceive me, i am habitual to face problems now!
On 26/3/2013 when i knew all about that incident i was so tensed ,i went to school but my full attention was on those words,even i knew that i have not done something but still i was so sad that what will happen when people will tell my friend.
I was afraid that when i will till my that(he)friend about this so i will loose him forever,i will loose his smile,i was so sad in school,i didn’t tell him but i don’t know how he noticed and asked me”why are you so sad now a  days?i was quite and i didn’t say anything,he insisted me a lot even told me that”if you didn’t tell me  so i will never talk to you”this sentence as if brought a shocking movement in my life.He was the one who was my best friend and i know that the whole world can leave me,device me and blame me but he will never do like this!
I don’t understand why people look the word”LOVE” for one relationship.Can’t a friend love a friend without being girl-friends and boy-friends,can’t a father love his children,can’t a teacher be a bother for a student?????????
Finally i decided that my life has already finished so why should i live now?So i just living my life for one person and that was my friend.I didn’t let the people feel me sorrows,i smiled but my heart asked me”How can you be so selfish?Your friend is worried and you smile!Different questions were coming in my mind .Life was useless for me.And i wiped my tears,and started living the life!
The smile of my friend  always came in to my memories and as if it was saying”YES!YOU CAN DO IT!
I am so thank ful to God that he has given me such a good friend,although people don’t accept me with this attitude but i am positive and i am sorry i don’t like to talk with narrow-minded people so don’t try!
Thank you friend,i guess only a thank you is not enough because so much care and so much honor that he has given to our friendship is not enough for my thank you!
And dear panjguri people!
Here is a warning for you!
Don’t try to play with my emotions and don’t try to change our friendship in any other relationship!
Thank you!
A song that I listen very much and that is for clearing
the misunderstandings of people in here!

Go for it….


56 thoughts on “My life…………..

  1. Yasmeen a Advice–It’s your life make it large and never allow anyone to take control of your life as you are only the one who knows yourself better than anyone else.. 🙂
    God Bless You.. 🙂

  2. All I could do while reading this blog is smile. 🙂 I agree with you. Where are you studying now? Had I been a bit older, I would have tried to help you get good education. Even now, I can pray that you may achieve your goals.

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