Peeping to the past

It was about two years ago when I used to study for an entry test.Yes!!!
After completion of my 10th ,we moved to Quetta because my parents wanted me to be a doctor.Due to the fact that I didn’t consult a career counselor, I also depicted medical as my future.After my 10th,my father took me to a couching center in (Qawary road) Quetta, named as “Quetta Professors academy” . I took classes of I and II there.Then I was admitted to an academy where students were taught and prepared for entry test.I was admitted to ” The Doctor’s Inn” situated at Metha Mal street Quetta..I found both academies interesting and informative.
I learned many things from two different environments.I had too much information about life,physics and chemicals.Then,the day was near,when I had to attempt a paper and prove my capability. I appeared in the examination ,reciting too many verses.I couldn’t control my nerves at that time and I was thinking that”what will happen if I didn’t pass?  Many questions were rambling in my mind and I had my fingers crossed. My parents and family members had a belief upon my intelligence and I wanted to maintain this reputation . I went to the hall with all weapons and bullets but life deceived me ..I didn’t pass .Yup!! a failure.I met a failure for the first time in my life when I saw my result of disqualification. It was not easy for me.I had never failed .I had been a position holder with good grades. But I failed and that was the undeniable reality.
I again stood up and started taking classes. My father and mother both wanted me to be a doctor.I didn’t know whether it was my cup of tea or not but I toiled . It was a trend in our city that girls must go for medical by hook or crook. But my parents did not force me to do so. I appeared in exam second time. I prepared my self ,I studied and according to me I left no stone unturned for achieving the goal of M.B.B.S. It was the second time when life deceived me and I failed for the second time.It was a huge lesion for me .I failed two times and I was disappointed in front of all.I thought I am useless now. I cannot pass a test . I offered prayers and asked one thing to Allah Almighty that” meri zindagi mai jo khair hai muje wahi ata kar” .I didn’t demand for anything else.
Then I decided and I told to myself  to try something else.I gave consolation to myself.I was going from a dismal phase.I thought that “may be this door is not for me”.Then I had a discussion with my parents .I told them that now I am not going to appear in a medical entry test. It is not like,I didn’t prepare well,I didn’t study but it was  not a part of my destiny.I still remember those sunny and hot days when I walked on the roads to reach to Academy. I still remember those sleepless nights and I still remember those chapters and books.Medical is a craze for girls in Makran. They ruin their everything to achieve it ,and may be I didn’t do so, that I failed.
The next year ,I devised to give a try to L.L.B. One night before the test,I opened a book of general Knowledge and the next day I gave the test.It was a tragedy in fact.I was on the merit. I got second position . That time I was a student of and I couldn’t go for five years L.L.B program.So I quiet it .Then I met my goal and I realized that it is my career and my craze. As far as my love and craze is concerned,it is a clandestine. I am afraid of envious people. They will take away my husband (My career).I am  completely in love with that.
The purpose of this writeup is to attend a career counseling session and don’t let failure fail you .

Emanation of thoughts

Lafzon ki rawani kis tarah ho mumkin…

Soch kr yeh,ungliyaan meri bol padti hain….(Yasmeen)

In this world everyone loves to be heard and understood.But a few get the chance to be heard.Everyone has different skills of communication. It varies from person to person.Amongst the 99% of population ,a few has the ability to transfer their feelings ,emotions and notions in a beautiful manner.I believe there is no sweeter language than poetry and poem to say one’s thoughts.A poetry may include of two lines but if one understands the lines,it is worth than a book.
I believe that three dots explain much than words and two lines of poetry describe the whole story and pain.Poetry is the language which keep the people connected .
These are the times when no one wants to listen.Fortunately if one gets a listener so one doesn’t understands .the situation gets complex if one lacks the both persons in life;a good listener and one to understand.
I was in 8th standard when i shared the stories of school with my mother .My environment was (and still is) very different from others.My parents are broad minded and they never stopped me from doing anything.Though i was born in a patriarchal society but i was allowed to ride bicycle,play cricket,wear paints and shirts.My neighbors would often scowl towards me when they saw me riding a bicycle but my father ignored such things.I was allowed to share every single thing to y parents.I was permitted to ask everything to my parents .But with the passage of time,when my mother started taking me to the house of relatives so i found a huge difference in my thoughts and theirs.My thoughts were education based and their thoughts were marriage and social based.I thought about Why? and they thought whatever it is,we don’t care.Whenever i shared my ideas so they refused to listen.So I started writing.I started writing with maimed grammar ,having no eyes ,ears,legs and hands 🙂 .
Then the interest of poetry developed in my genes.I know I am not perfect but I feel happy to do something which makes me perfect in my history.I write poetry and poems which keep me motivated.I share my ideas in a few lines rather than describing the whole scenario.
I believe that pure and sweet thoughts come from nature,soothing breeze and greenery.The bride of my literature looks beautiful when I decorate it with beautiful words loaded with light jewelries and makeup.
I love the time when I look the nature and my fingers start communicating with the pages themselves. I feel relaxed when such a feeling comes from inside my heart.
    “I hear the song which my fingers sing with the lyrics of love and pain.I hear my finger tips when they tinkle with the strings of my brain and thus the emanation of words keep going…..

Lost Yasmeen or New Yasmeen

Today when i woke up so i logged into word press and i started checking the comments and blogs of my bloggers,i saw many different and strange things.
I saw that once it was a time when i posted with broken English and my bloggers read my posts by motivating me .
So here is a Hello to all of my bloggers who were lost or either i was lost somewhere in this world.
I was searching many things and i was shocked by reading the comments and my posts.I searched blog of Harsha,Arindam and many more,once i realized that i am lost and it has been more than two years that i haven’t blogged.
Things have changed,environment has changed and moreover a lot of things have changed in my life .Many things have happened that have taught me lessons and many things have happened that have helped me in moving on!
When i used to blog in 2014-15 so i wrote in a different way,i couldn’t write in a good way,today when i checked those posts so i smiled and noticed the changes in myself that life is great ,many things have changed .
Before i thought that life can never be good but now i am happy and hug life with positivity ,before i thought that my life can never change but now i am living a life that i have dreamed for.
Yesterday i was a student of   intermediate ,now studying law :),
Before i wrote about social issues but now i am on the social and political platform and fighting against many things.
So far i came to know that the reason for all problems in Pakistan is Capitalism,class system and many more.And today when i read Karl Marx and Lenin so i realize that i knew nothing since i was in intermediate,i was not aware of anything but now i know many things because i started reading the right books that guide me towards a better life.
Yup things have changed and i love this change in my life because i think now i am justifying my articles into actions.
I thought may be i was lost somewhere but now i think i am changing into a new Yasmeen who has nothing to do with other things but i have many things to do for humanity on a platform .